How Weird Am I? Very, Yes, Thank You.

 
I actually did show up at Borders mere minutes after The Book was put on the shelves.  One of the first copiesout the door, they told me.

Thirty-five bucks.  Thirty-five bucks, though anybody in the world who every actually pays that much for it is outta their minds.  You can get it for ten bucks online, if you're looking.  You can hike on over to Walmart to do almost as well.  Even here at Borders, they're giving 40% off.

But me, I'm crafty.  I pull out ten dollas' worth of "Bordrs Bucks" because my family has spent over $150 at the chain in September alone (there are advantages with having reading daughters and a teacher-wife. Not many, but this is one.)  So bang, discount, and bang Borders bucks, and suddenly I'm paying like $12, including tax, for this monumental sucker.  And I feel good. 

Dear Stephen:  I know you have a few bucks already, and we're a little short here at Casa de la Primo e Segundo Hipoteca, so I'm hoping you'll understand why I'm undercutting your profit as well as the distributor and book store.  Next time I'll pay full price.  No, really I will.  I swear.

So: $12 out, and UTD in my hands, thick and heavy as a family Bible.  And damn that feels good.

And yet .. I will not read it yet.  Not yet.  Busy day today, probably won't be time even for a comfortable crap until way late in the day.  So I'll just carry it around.  Tuck it under my arm  and sho off my pristine copy to ealous friends, who seem oddly unimpressed.

This is like good sex.  It's all in the foreplay ...